


Glimpses of Portugal

by adorkablephil (kimberly_a)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2010 Phan, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Portugal - Freeform, Romance, Travel, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-12 06:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10484403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimberly_a/pseuds/adorkablephil
Summary: Dan and Phil went to Portugal together May 27-June 3, 2010, but very little is known about the trip. This is a random collection of ficlets that take place during that trip, occasionally incorporating some of the few actual tweets and photos from the trip. They aren't in any particular order, but they all take place during that holiday in Portugal.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Glimpses of Portugal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10607853) by [MycMurr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MycMurr/pseuds/MycMurr)



> This "story" started as a sort of experimental project on Tumblr, in which I just started posting unrelated ficlets that all take place during Dan and Phil's 2010 trip to Portugal together. I was intrigued by the fact that so little public information is available about the holiday, except for a few undeleted tweets and a brief mention in Phil's "[World's Biggest Chip](https://youtu.be/P4Zn5eP63mA)" video (in which he shows a few photos very quickly). I wanted to write a proper fic with a proper beginning, middle, and end, but I'm having some health problems that have been affecting my ability to concentrate and so in frustration decided to write this loose collection of short ficlets instead. Some are actual scenes, while others are just little bits of weirdness, and none of them really have proper titles. Each ficlet stands alone and can be read independently, but they all take place during that one holiday. I hope they give you some enjoyment.

Sometimes you wake from a deep sleep and don’t quite know where you are for a moment—there’s a moment of disorientation as if your dreams still cling to you and don’t quite want to let go—but when Phil woke up their first morning in Portugal, he remembered exactly where he was without even opening his eyes. In fact, he lay there for a long moment, eyes still closed, and savored the feeling of the crisp hotel sheets, the sight of sunlight filtering through his eyelids, the sound of quiet breathing beside him, the anticipation of lazy ocean-soaked days that stretched ahead.

When he finally did open his eyes, it was to the sight of Dan’s face, relaxed and peaceful as he slept. Dan’s face was always so expressive when he was awake, it was almost odd to see him so tranquil—“tranquility” was not a word Phil would usually associate with the boy. So Phil lay there a long time, just basking in this seldom-seen aspect of Dan, because everything about Dan was fascinating, even the serenity of his sleeping face.

When Dan’s eyes eventually fluttered open, he smiled drowsily at Phil and murmured, “You’re the best thing to wake up to,” which earned him a soft kiss.

Phil smiled against Dan’s lips and then pulled back to gaze into brown eyes lit with gold highlights by the sunlight streaming into their room through the gauzy white curtains. “I like watching you sleep,” he said, resting his head back on his pillow, still facing Dan. They just smiled at each other, Dan still groggy, still half in that dream land, his wavy hair mussed and wild against the pillow case.

“What time is it?” he asked, not sounding particularly interested in the answer.

“I don’t know,” Phil answered. “We don’t **need** to know—not the whole time we’re here. We are currently existing outside the space time continuum.” He leaned over and kissed Dan again, and Dan’s lips were warm and slow against his, dragging him back toward that dream world. But this was better than any dream, with Dan beside him and a day of ocean and sunlight waiting for them.

Dan smiled and stretched a bit, the sheet falling to show his bare shoulders and upper chest. Phil enjoyed the view. “The hotel only serves breakfast until 11,” Dan reminded him, observing Phil’s wandering gaze with a tiny knowing smirk.

Phil pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Dan’s bare shoulder, flicking out his tongue to taste the boy’s skin, slightly salty from sweat during the hot Portuguese night. “I’ve never liked breakfast much,” Phil lied, because he really didn’t care about food right now. Dan’s skin tasted better to him than anything ever had.

“Mmmmm,” Dan hummed with pleasure, stretching like a lazy cat, obviously enjoying how Phil’s eyes followed his body’s movement. “I’m not hungry at all.” His stomach chose that moment to grumble audibly, and they both laughed. Dan lifted the sheet and spoke to his stomach, “Shush, you! I’m busy here!” He let the sheet fall again, but it rested at his waist now, baring even more of his smooth skin to Phil’s avid eyes.

“You know,” Phil said, raising a hand to let it slide along the length of Dan’s arm, then down beneath the sheet to caress his bare hip. “We don’t actually have to leave this room at all today. This hotel has room service.”

“But … the beach,” Dan pouted prettily.

“I’m pretty sure the ocean will still be there tomorrow,” Phil promised, letting his hand wander lower, making Dan’s eyes flutter closed and his body arch with pleasure.

“If you’re sure,” Dan murmured with just a hint of laughter in his voice.

“Oh, I’m very sure,” Phil replied, then ducked beneath the sheets.

The laughter had fled Dan’s voice when he moaned a moment later. And neither of them was thinking about the ocean or food or anything but each other.

It was better than dreams. And they had nowhere to be but here.


	2. My Heart Will Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their hotel in Portugal keeps playing the same song over and over, and Phil gets it stuck in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Phil’s tweet that appears at the beginning of the ficlet. This probably only makes sense if you are familiar with the song “My Heart Will Go On,” but if you are one of the few lucky people in the world who are not familiar with that song, please do not rot your brain by listening to it just so you can appreciate this “ficlet.” (I put that in quotes because it’s really just a list of songs I imagine Phil singing at various times during the trip. At first I tried to make the songs all scan and rhyme correctly, but then I remembered that Phil doesn’t do that, so they’re rather sloppy … like Phil.)

* * *

 

Every day they play this  
same song on  
their speeeeeakers  
even though it drives me  
insane.  
One of these times I’ll throw my  
self flat on the floor and  
have a fit like a toddler  
on speed

* * *

Once, twice  
they play the song  
more times  
and get it stuck in my stupid head  
Once more  
they play the song  
and I  
hope they get their faces  
eaten by badgers  
forever

* * *

Every time I hear this  
I get it stuck  
in my head  
but I don’t know the lyrics  
at aaaaaalllll.  
So I just sing random other stuff  
and Dan tries to kick me  
but luckily I’m pretty good  
at dodging

* * *

Every time I see you  
I smell you  
I feel you  
it might get us arrested  
someday.  
Not in front of the children  
just keep it  
in yoooour pants  
but how can I  
when Dan is  
so gay

* * *

Walk along the cliffside  
there’s ocean  
there’s shoreline  
lots of people  
on holidaaaaaay.  
They wear socks with sandals  
just so we  
can mock them  
because we’re rotten people  
sometimes

* * *

Lying on the beaches  
the sun beds  
are full of spiiiiiiders  
creeping and crawling  
on meeeeee.  
I think one’s in my nose  
and maybe in my mouth  
Hey, Dan, wanna make out  
with meeeeee?

* * *

Phil is great at singing  
and Dan Howell  
is jeaaaaaalous  
that’s why he gets so mad  
at meeeeeee.  
Phil shut up with that song  
that’s what he keeps  
saaaaaaying  
but I blame it on the  
hotel


	3. Hair straighteners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil wishes Dan wasn’t so obsessed with straightening his hair.

Of course they brought their hair straighteners with them to Portugal—Dan hated to be seen **anywhere** , by **anyone** , without straightening his hair first. More than once in their early days, Dan had actually jumped up half-asleep to hide in the bathroom, only to emerge minutes later with straightened hair to rejoin Phil in bed.

It made Phil a little sad, because he worried about Dan disliking anything about himself that much. Even in his teenage years, Phil had never been that self-conscious.

Despite the bright sun, their first few days in Portugal were a bit chilly, but on their third day, the sun was warm and inviting, and Phil begged Dan to go down to the beach with him. He knew Dan loved to swim but hated what the water did to his hair. Dan hesitated, so Phil wrapped his arms around the boy’s thin frame and wheedled, “Pleeeeease, Dan? Pleeeease? I mean, we can see the ocean from our **balcony**! It’s right **there**! Please come swim with me? I’ll love you forever!”

Dan pointed out sullenly, “You’ll love me forever anyway.”

Phil squeezed him. “But I’ll love you even **more** if you come swim with me.”

Dan rolled his eyes and caved. “Okay, fine. I’ll come swim with you. But only because I love **you** so much.” But the speed with which he changed into his swim trunks showed that in truth he was looking forward to the ocean as much as Phil was. He just liked to be contrary … probably because he was 18.

They played in the waves for more than an hour, splashing and diving and laughing and swimming together, until finally they decided to lie on the sand for a while to dry off in the sun. Phil turned his head to look at Dan lying beside him and grinned at Dan’s wet, wavy mess of hair. “I love your hair like that,” he said, unashamed of how besotted he sounded.

Dan reached a hand up to attempt to smooth it down. “I hate it.”

Phil lowered his voice. “That’s what it looks like when I keep you going for a couple hours before I let you come, when you’re all covered in sweat, desperate and begging.”

Dan glanced around, eyes wide. There were people all around them, but no one near enough to overhear.

“Will you leave it that way for me the rest of the day today? So that every time I look at you, that’s what I think about?”

Dan was blushing, his eyes averted, but he was smiling a little bit. Bashful. His eyes flicked up to meet Phil’s briefly, then flitted away again. “Okay,” he whispered, looking embarrassed but pleased.

Over dinner that night, Phil stared, love-struck, at the beautiful boy across the table from him. He pointedly let his eyes linger on Dan’s hair, then licked his lips after a sip of wine. “I really do like your hair like that,” he murmured, purposely making his voice low and seductive, and Dan blushed again as he had on the beach. The combination of mussed hair and pink cheeks was perfect.

The next morning they were getting ready to go for a walk along the cliffs, and Dan plugged in the straighteners after his shower. Phil sighed with regret and met Dan’s eyes in the mirror. Dan shrugged defensively in something that wasn’t quite an apology.

As he watched the grim-faced younger boy force his hair into submission, Phil found himself hoping that maybe someday Dan would learn to accept himself whole-heartedly, wavy hair and all.

 

 


	4. Night on the hotel grounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil explore the hotel grounds after dark and talk while they cuddle on a divan.

The evening was warm, and so they decided to explore the area outside their hotel. Extensive grounds spread between the building toward the edge of the cliffs that overlooked the sea, and during the day, these areas were crowded with guests partaking of the hotel’s various amenities: the pool, the tennis court, the little putting green, and the many chairs, tables, and divans overlooking the beach below.

Right now, though, the grounds were lit only by low, scattered lamps, and no other guests seemed inclined to venture beyond their rooms and the hotel bar. Dan and Phil had the gardens to themselves, and they roamed hand-in-hand, speaking to each other in low voices. They found a large divan at the edge of the cliff overlooking the ocean, which was only an expanse of darkness in the night, like a void at the edge of the earth. They lay down and cuddled close despite the warmth of the air around them.

“Isn’t it strange that we were supposed to be here last month instead?” Phil said in a hushed voice.

“Weird how?” Dan asked, pressing a soft kiss to Phil’s throat.

Phil wrapped his arms more firmly around the boy and pulled him closer, twining their bare legs together, glad that they were both wearing shorts thanks to the heat of the day so that he could feel more of Dan’s skin against his.

“It’s just … we aren’t even supposed to be here right now,” Phil explained in wonder.

Dan’s chuckle was quiet in the darkness. “Wow. That’s deep, Phil.”

Phil poked his side and said, “Shut up.”

They lay together for a while, just enjoying the distant sound of the ocean far below them at the foot of the cliff. Occasionally, the sound of indistinct voices drifted to them from the hotel, but it felt like they were in their own little world out here at the edge of the garden.

“I’m actually glad our trip ended up getting delayed,” Phil said softly.

Dan’s voice was tinged with disbelief when he replied, “You’re glad a volcano erupted in Iceland and covered Europe in ash so our flight got canceled?”

Phil breathed happily into the night, “Yeah.”

“Why?” Dan sounded puzzled.

Phil kissed him, long and gentle and slow, then replied, “Because otherwise you would be in Wokingham right now and I’d be in Rossendale.” He kissed Dan again, lips lingering as if he never wanted to pull away, before he concluded quietly, “And instead I’m laying here with you. Right now. And that’s everything I want in the world.”


	5. No video cameras

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan insists that they not bring video cameras on the trip.

“No video cameras.” It was Dan’s one unequivocal requirement about the Portugal trip. “We spend most of our time looking at each other through camera lenses and on computer screens. I want this trip to just be us, like, looking at each other. Directly! Nothing between us. Just … us. For real.”

So neither of them had packed a video camera. It felt odd to Phil, who had been filming so much of his life for what seemed like forever, but he couldn’t deny that it was kind of nice to just sit beside Dan on the plane and not have to fight the temptation to film him, to instead just look at his profile and enjoy its delicacy in the moment without trying to capture it for posterity.

“Phones are okay, right?” he’d asked anxiously. He really didn’t want to have to go the whole trip without his phone. But luckily Dan had agreed, though he had requested minimal photos and minimal tweeting.

“Just … keep your eyes on me, okay? Let’s try and forget about the fucking internet and fucking YouTube and fucking subscriber numbers and all that stupid crap. I mean, yes, I usually love all that stupid crap, but just for this one week, let’s try to forget it. Okay? Let’s just be you, and me, and us. Just … Dan and Phil. Just for a few days. Can we do that?” And Phil had hugged him tight, nodding yes, murmuring assurances in his ear, because Dan had sounded almost on the verge of tears, as if he really needed this vacation, needed a vacation from being “danisnotonfire,” a vacation where he got to be just Dan for the first time since his channel had hit it big and mobs of fangirls had started recognizing him in train stations and coffee shops.

So they spent every hour of every day together in Portugal, and every night too. They went to the beach, and they walked the cliffs around their hotel, and they lazed around in bed for hours when they felt like it, and they ate strange food in tiny local restaurants, and they visited a marine park … and they didn’t film any of it. Not a single moment. They did take a few photos, though not many. Most of the photos Phil took were of Dan. Most of the photos Dan took were of dolphins and sea lions at the marine park.

“What if we want to make a sex tape?” Phil had teased, but Dan had looked serious.

“We’ll just have to store every moment in our own memories,” he’d replied, face young and earnest and strangely wise. “Just pay such close attention to every single detail that we’ll never forget any of it and a video recording would be entirely redundant.”

Phil had nodded, a little dazed at the intensity of Dan’s answer.

But Dan’s words had stuck in his mind throughout the trip, inspiring him to intently watch Dan’s ever-changing facial expressions, and listen to the sound of his voice, and feel the warm smoothness of his skin, and smell the combination of professional product and ocean salt in his hair. Phil stored it all away in a special place in his memory, someplace safe where he knew he wouldn’t ever lose it, because it was too precious to risk.

“I’m going to remember this forever,” he whispered into Dan’s hair one night as they lay in bed, both teetering on the sweet edge of sleep.

“That’s the idea,” Dan whispered back, and then sleep took them.


	6. Sneaking into the pool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a hot night, the boys decide to swim in the hotel pool, even though it’s closed for the night.

They were watching tv in their hotel room late one night, both sitting up in the bed. They were watching some incredibly old episode of “Star Trek,” maybe the original series. Neither of them had watched the show before, so they weren’t sure. But at least it wasn’t in Portuguese like the programs on the other stations.

“I’m going crazy cooped up in here,” Dan complained eventually. “And these actors are really bad.”

Phil was staring at the television with a slightly appalled look on his face. “And what the heck are they wearing?”

Dan walked restlessly over to the balcony and opened the curtains, stepping out into the night air. Somehow the temperature had only seemed to climb as darkness descended tonight, and sticky sweat coated his skin. Down below, he saw the hotel pool, all its lamps now extinguished to indicate that it was closed to use.

Dan walked back into the room with a mischievous smirk on his face.

15 minutes later, they were strolling through the lobby in their swim trunks and t-shirts, trying to act casual, though they kept bursting into giggles when they looked at each other. The lobby staff probably thought they were high.

They strolled casually along one of the illuminated paths across the lawn, but then detoured off to sneak off toward the darkened pool area. There was no gate to keep out interlopers, since the hotel seemed to trust that its distinguished guests would respect the clear message of the extinguished lamps and not trespass into the pool after its closing time.

Both boys hastily dropped their t-shirts on the concrete and then eased themselves into the water, trying not to splash too much and draw attention from the staff.

“Oooooh!” Dan moaned softly in relief. “This is soooo much better! I hadn’t realized how hot I was until I got into the water.”

“I always realized how hot you were,” Phil replied pertly, making Dan roll his eyes at the cheesy joke. He ducked his head underwater and came up to spit a mouthful at Phil.

“Ugh!” Dan exclaimed, making a disgusted face. “Chlorine in my mouth!”

“Come give me a chloriney kiss,” Phil suggested, giving Dan flirty eyes in the dim light.

But apparently Dan had spoken a bit too loudly, and an employee from the lobby stepped out to look around. Dan and Phil froze in the pool, treading water as silently as possible, until Phil had the poor luck to sneeze. Dan glared at him and Phil hissed accusingly, “You got chlorine up my nose!”

“You there!” the hotel employee called out in English. This was a tourist hotel and most of the guests seemed to be British, so the staff usually spoke English by default. “The pool is closed!”

Phil whispered to Dan, “Hey! He’s dressed like those ‘Star Trek’ guys!” The hotel uniform did indeed have the same sleek lines.

Dan laughed out loud before whispering back, “Oh my god! You’re right! I hadn’t noticed, but they **all** are!” They looked in through the wide windows at the staff in the lobby and burst into uncontrollable giggles.

The hotel guy had lost patience with them. “Come out of there right now!” he insisted sternly.

They paddled to the side and climbed out, picking up their t-shirts and donning them so that they clung uncomfortably to their wet bodies. “We come in peace,” Phil intoned with a straight face, holding up his hand and making what he thought was maybe a Vulcan salute. He wasn’t sure he was holding his fingers right. Dan cracked up again. The hotel employee did not look amused.

“This area is off-limits after 8 p.m.,” he chided them. Dan and Phil stifled their laughter and nodded silently, attempting to look appropriately contrite. When he didn’t say anything else, they slunk away back through the hotel lobby and raced up to their room, where they collapsed on the bed, laughing hysterically.

“We just utterly defiled this bed with pool water,” Dan pointed out when he had caught his breath.

Phil grinned at him. “That was so totally worth it.”

* * *

 

 

 


	7. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan has a bad dream. Phil comforts him.

Phil slowly emerged from sleep to the feel of Dan pressed against him along the entire back of his body, from the face tucked into the back of his neck to the knees curved along the backs of his own to the feet tangling with his beneath the sheet. The rest of the sheet had been thrown off at some point and now tangled around only their legs. In the warmth of the night, Phil didn’t mind the lack of covering, but he knew it was a sign that Dan had been restless. Add that to the fast breath against the nape of his neck and Phil’s sleepy brain was able to figure out that Dan had probably had another bad dream. It happened sometimes.

Phil didn’t roll over yet, but pressed his own arm to the one Dan had thrown around his waist and entwined his fingers with Dan’s. Dan’s arm tightened to hold him closer. “Nightmare?” Phil asked quietly.

Dan scooted even closer. Phil had thought there was no real space between them a moment ago, but now Dan was pressed against him so tightly he could feel every inch of him trembling slightly. “Not a nightmare, exactly,” Dan said in a small voice, and he sounded so very young. “Just a bad dream.”

Phil wished he could hold Dan, hold more than just his hand, but he knew Dan would want a bit of privacy right now. After a bad dream, he liked to be close, but not too close. He needed a bit of time and space before he could accept that much comfort. “Want to talk about it?” Phil asked into the darkness, his voice almost a whisper.

A long moment passed, and Phil waited patiently for Dan to be ready to talk about it if he wanted to. Then Dan said, “It was just stupid.”

Phil held in a sigh. Dan always dismissed his own doubts and fears as “stupid.” “Tell me about it anyway?” he coaxed.

Dan was silent for another long minute, then murmured into Phil’s neck, “I needed to do something. Everyone was counting on me. But I didn’t know how to do it. I didn’t even know what it was I needed to do! But it was really important. And I knew I was letting everyone down. And I kept trying to figure out what it was I was supposed to do so I could try to figure out how to do it, but there was no one to help me and I was panicking…” His voice trailed off as his breath sped up.

Phil squeezed his hand gently and asked, “Is it okay if I turn around so I can give you a hug?” and he felt Dan nod. He rolled over to face Dan and took the boy into his arms, rubbing his hands up and down along his back, and when he pressed a tender kiss to Dan’s lips he felt tears on Dan’s cheeks.

“You don’t have to have everything figured out,” Phil reassured him softly. “And you know that you aren’t alone. You know that I’m always right here beside you, that I would do anything for you. I’ll always be here to help you.”

Dan’s arms around him squeezed him so tightly Phil could almost feel his bones creak under the pressure, but nothing on earth could have persuaded him to ask Dan to ease up in that moment. He heard a quiet sniff in the dark. He wondered if this was about uni, since Dan had received his acceptance only a few months ago.

He was proven correct when Dan asked hesitantly, “Do you think I’m doing the right thing with the law program? I just … I have no idea what I want to do, and I figure the law degree would at least be … you know … impressive. But is that a good enough reason to do it?”

Phil kissed Dan’s cheek and could taste the salt of his tears. “You don’t need to have any answers right now. You can always change your mind after you’ve seen what the courses are like. You don’t need to have your whole life planned out in advance, you know. Nobody ever really does. If they say they do, they’re lying.” He pressed another kiss, this time to Dan’s hair.

Dan sighed, and Phil could feel the warm breath against his face. Then Dan burrowed closer within Phil’s embrace and nudged in beneath Phil’s chin, pressing his face to Phil’s throat. They were both quiet, breathing together in the dark hotel room. They’d left the doors to the balcony open, and the smell of the ocean perfumed the air around them, a subtle breeze brushing across their bare skin.

“How do you always make me feel better?” Dan asked, and there was a tiny bit of humor in his voice now. The worst was over.

“It’s my superpower,” Phil replied. “Probably not as impressive as laser eyes or being able to move things with my brain.”

Dan kissed his throat and whispered, “I think it’s better. It’s the best superpower there is.”

Phil hugged him tighter.


	8. A literal ray of sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan gets into one of his dark moods, and Phil tries to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, these ficlets aren't chronological, so even though this one is set right before the end of their trip, there are still more ficlets to come.

It was their last night in Portugal. Tomorrow they would be flying home, and maybe that was why Dan was brooding. Whatever the reason, he’d gotten into one of his moods and was restlessly roaming their hotel room like a pinball of teenaged angst.

“Let’s walk down to the beach,” Phil suggested, starting to feel a little claustrophobic in a fairly small hotel room filled with so much gloom.

Dan rolled his eyes and scoffed, “It’s pitch dark out there, Phil. You’d trip and break your neck.”

“There’s a railing,” Phil argued. “And I’ll be careful.”

Dan huffed impatiently and said, “Fine,” in the grumpiest voice possible.

So they walked through the well-lit hotel gardens to the wooden stairway that led down the steep cliffs to the beach. Dan had been right—the stairway really wasn’t lit for nighttime forays down to the beach—but Phil held onto the railing and took each death-defying step very slowly. They hadn’t walked very far, though, before Dan said, “Let’s just sit down here for a bit.” And Phil was glad to join him.

They sat on the wooden stairs and gazed out into the pitch darkness that was the sky and ocean beyond the cliffs. Some distance behind them, the lights of the hotel provided just enough illumination that Phil could make out Dan’s features as they sat side by side. Phil looked at Dan, and Dan looked out into the darkness.

“Sometimes I feel like that,” Dan said in an eerily blank voice.

“Like what?” Phil asked.

Dan gestured toward the dark in front of them. “Like, I look inside myself, and all there is is this void. Like I’m filled with this vast emptiness.” His face looked sad and lonely, despite Phil sitting beside him.

Phil turned to look out into the dark, and they both sat there staring in the same direction for a little while before Phil ventured, “It only looks like a void.” Dan turned to look at him, and Phil turned to meet his eyes. “It’s dark, and it looks empty, but really there’s this immense ocean there. You just can’t see it right now.” Dan looked pensive, so Phil continued. “And under the surface of the ocean, there’s so much stuff that’s beautiful and amazing.”

Dan turned to look out into the dark again, and Phil did likewise. “You just have to remember that the ocean is there, Dan. The dark might look empty, but it isn’t. It’s full of so many great things you can’t even imagine right now.”

Dan’s hand found Phil’s in the dark, but they both kept facing forward toward the ocean hidden by the night.

“You just have to wait for the sunrise, Dan. Then you’ll see.”


	9. Ham

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil experience restaurant dining in Portugal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This silly snippet was inspired by three things: a photo of Dan in Portugal pouring a pitcher of what looks like “sangría blanca” in Phil’s “World’s Biggest Chip” video (a photo I unfortunately can’t include here because Phil pans through it during the video [starting around 2:44](https://youtu.be/P4Zn5eP63mA?t=2m44s)), some nerdy research I did about common foods and customs in Portugal, and [PINOF 1](https://youtu.be/M6VevN2mn5s) (which was filmed about 7 months before this vacation occurred). In fact, this won’t make much sense if you haven’t watched PINOF 1 … but if you haven’t watched PINOF 1, wtf are you doing reading phanfic? Go watch all the PINOFs, you fool!

The hotel restaurant was a bit posh for them, so Dan and Phil tended only to go there for their morning coffee and pastries. For the rest of their meals, they walked into the nearby shopping district, where there were a few small, casual restaurants. They discovered a shared fondness for “sangría blanca,” which was basically just fruit punch made with white wine and a lot of fresh fruit, and ate a lot of different kinds of extremely fresh seafood obviously caught by local fishermen.

But they noticed something odd. At every single restaurant they visited, as soon as they sat down at a table, a server would immediately bring a plate of bread, cheese, ham, and olives. In every restaurant, it was the same combination of foods, and the plate was always brought without them actually requesting it … even though it always ended up on their bill. The first time it happened, Phil had started to try to politely explain that they hadn’t ordered anything yet, but the server had walked away before he could get even a word out. He’d exchanged a puzzled look with Dan and shrugged. Then he’d eaten an olive. It was pretty tasty.

They got used to the practice after it had happened a few times and just figured it was a Portuguese thing, but Phil was mildly offended by the constant barrage of unrequested cheese.

Out to dinner with Dan, he watched with horror as the boy took a big bite of some unidentifiable cheese. Phil grimaced. “Gross. I hope you don’t think I’m going to kiss you if you have cheese mouth.”

Dan rolled his eyes and spoke while chewing, “I ate cheese yesterday. And the day before. And it hasn’t stopped you from kissing me yet.”

Phil scoffed dismissively. “I’ve just been taking pity on you. They’ve been cheese-encrusted pity kisses. I didn’t want to make you feel bad.”

Dan snorted. “Yeah, I could tell how much you **weren’t** into it by all the **moaning**.”

“Those were moans of disgust,” Phil replied loftily. But then he couldn’t keep a straight face anymore and started giggling. Then he lowered his voice. “But seriously, what’s with all the cheese? With **every** meal!”

“I know!” Dan said under his breath, leaning across the table so the staff wouldn’t hear him and maybe be offended. “And all the ham! They’re trying to give us ham poisoning!”

Phil grinned. “Ham overload.”

Dan’s lips twitched. “Ham overdose.”

“Ham,” Phil said, smoothing his face into blandness.

“Ham,” Dan replied seriously.

“Ham,” Phil enunciated carefully, drawing the word out a bit.

For a few minutes there, it looked like they might actually be kicked out of the restaurant for disturbing the other diners with their hysterical laughter, but eventually they were able to get it under control and finish their meal under the disapproving gazes of the Portuguese staff. Every once in a while, though, one of them would look up from their plate and whisper, “Ham,” and they would both stifle their snickers behind their hands.


	10. Under the blue sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan watches a sleepy Phil on the beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Portugal ficlet, this time inspired by the tweet that's included at the end.

They’d brought their towels out to the beach today. Since the sun beds were full of spiders, they’d decided they would rather just lie on the sand. So they’d splashed around in the water long enough to make Dan’s hair look like the head of a bedraggled poodle before just collapsing onto their towels to enjoy the sun for a while. It wasn’t particularly hot today, but the sun was bright and warm. With the breeze off the ocean, it was incredibly pleasant. Dan lay there beside Phil with his eyes closed and listened to the other holiday-makers around them. The beach below their hotel was a popular one, with crystal clear water and white sand surrounded by attractive cliffs. Dan would have preferred a less crowded beach, but it was difficult to resist the convenience of just walking out of their hotel room and being here within a matter of minutes.

With his eyes closed, he could still see light through his eyelids. It was as if Portugal’s sun simply refused to allow him to sink into his habitual darkness. The thought made him smile a little. Maybe Portugal was a bit like Phil in that way. They both shone light into his life even when he tried to cloak himself in dark. Sometimes he needed that dark quiet in order to gather the scattered parts of himself together, as if he might permanently fly to bits if he didn’t have that time of silence and privacy to just be himself without the rest of the world peeking in. But other times, it was nice to have rays of sunlight—whether literal or metaphorical—shine in to help guide him out of that private space that could sometimes become a pit of loneliness if he wasn’t careful.

He turned his head toward Phil and opened his eyes. Phil’s eyes were closed, and Dan wondered if he was asleep. Phil could fall asleep anywhere and certainly wouldn’t be deterred by the noisy children running around nearby or the couple arguing only a few feet away. Dan indulged himself, just gazing at Phil’s profile for a while. Watching Phil without Phil being aware of it reminded him of all those years that he watched his videos, one unknown viewer among thousands. And now here he lay by Phil’s side, on holiday together, with the memory of Phil’s hands still lingering on his skin, with the knowledge that Phil loved him … really **loved** him. He closed his eyes for a moment, just holding that thought close, but then opened them again to keep watching Phil. Phil’s lips were parted slightly, and Dan was tempted to climb over there and kiss him, but knew it probably wasn’t a good idea on a public beach.

After a while, he started to worry that Phil’s fair skin might burn if they lay here much longer, so he called Phil’s name softly. Phil blinked several times, slow and reluctant, then turned to look at him with that blurry, dazed look he always had when he first woke up but wasn’t fully alert yet. Phil smiled beatifically and said, “You look so pretty. Your skin looks nice under the blue sun.”

Dan giggled. “The blue sun?” he repeated, delighted in this sleepily incoherent Phil.

Phil frowned in confusion. “You know. The…” and he gestured weakly.

“The … sky?” Dan guessed, still grinning.

“Yeah,” Phil smiled happily, still obviously not fully awake. “The sky. You look so pretty under the sunshine sky.” He yawned and stretched, then looked back at Dan, his eyes clearing a bit. “I just want to look at you all day.” His lips curved and Dan found himself wanting to kiss them again.

“I’ve been watching you while you slept,” Dan admitted with a smirk.

“Did I drool?” Phil asked, not seeming too worried.

“Nope. But you’re going to burn if you aren’t careful, so I thought I should wake you before you went up in flames like a vampire.”

“I think I’ll just turn over,” Phil suggested lazily. “Put sun cream on my back?” Dan nodded and moved closer to run lotion-slick hands over Phil’s pale skin. Phil let out a little “mmmm” sound of pleasure and Dan found himself wishing they had a bit more privacy. The kids ran past them again and Dan carefully set aside any improper thoughts and just focused on protecting Phil from sunburn.

“There you go,” Dan said when he thought Phil was sufficiently covered.

Phil had closed his eyes again, his face turned toward Dan, and he murmured, “Okay. Thanks. You can go back to watching me sleep now.”

Instead, Dan pulled his phone out of his bag and composed a tweet quoting Phil’s funny, sleep-addled compliment. When he was done, he put his phone back away and decided that he too would flip onto his stomach, his face turned toward Phil. He closed his eyes, but the image of the man beside him still lingered in his mind. Instead of the darkness he normally found behind his closed eyelids, he found only light and happiness.

* * *


	11. Swimming bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil have a code word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Portugal project is actually nearing completion, because I only have two more ficlets planned ... then I’ll get back to the Creeper series. I want to thank @danceofmyimpressions on Tumblr for the screenshot of the tweet for this one, since it is now deleted from Twitter and I wasn’t able to find any other screenshots of it already online. Thank you, @danceofmyimpressions!
> 
> Readers, be sure to read the tweet at the end or you’ll miss the whole point.

They were in the hotel elevator, on their way down to the pool, since they might as well swim in the hotel pool at least once while they were here. It seemed strange that anyone would choose to swim in a pool when the ocean was only a few minutes’ walk away, but lots of the guests did.

No one else was in the elevator, so Phil crowded Dan up against the wall and kissed him, slow and sweet. But then they heard the elevator ding and broke apart just in time to avoid being caught by the elderly couple who came in. Even still, the old woman eyed them disapprovingly. Her bright red lipstick was slightly crooked.

Phil leaned over to whisper in Dan’s ear, “I wish I could kiss you anytime I want. This sucks.”

They were both silent, waiting. The elevator was slow in this hotel. They’d made it to the third floor now.

Dan whispered in Phil’s ear, “How about a code word? Any time you wish you could be kissing me, but you can’t, call me ‘bear,’ and I’ll know what you mean.”

Phil nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, bear,” he said at normal volume. The elderly couple glanced idly at him, then away. Dan’s smile was small and secret.

Later that night, they were sitting in their hotel room, just companionably playing on their phones, when Dan’s phone pinged with a Twitter notification. He read the tweet and laughed, then tackled Phil onto the bed and kissed him for all he was worth. And he was worth quite a lot.

* * *


	12. In Phil's world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil see some beautiful cliffs very differently

They'd been eating lunch at one of their favorite little restaurants, a place they'd visited a few times, and the proprietor, Afonso, had been telling them about some particularly beautiful cliffs a few miles away. Dan and Phil had admitted that they hadn't ventured very far afield, except for one trip to a marine park that had been booked through their hotel.

"My brother!" the restaurant proprietor had exclaimed excitedly. "He will take you! Yes? He has a Jeep!" And that was how Dan and Phil found themselves enjoying a spectacular view with a strange Portuguese man in the sunshine.

They'd only been there for a few minutes when Phil suddenly took off, running in a funny crouch along the edge of the cliff.

"He just ... does this sometimes," Dan said with a fond smile. He turned to glance at Afonso's brother. "He probably saw a lizard or something." His eyes turned back to follow Phil's perilous progress along the cliff. "Don't you dare fall to your death," Dan yelled to him. "Because I am **not** explaining that to your mum." But Phil didn't seem to hear.

It baffled Dan sometimes, how Phil never seemed to feel any hesitation, any sense of caution. In Phil's world, all animals wanted to be petted, no plants were ever poisonous, and beautiful cliffs would never betray him by allowing him to fall.

In Dan's world, even the familiar, stable ground of Wokingham might crumble beneath his feet at any moment. Dan's world was bleak and full of fear, redolent with harsh judgments and confusion.

He envied Phil. So much.

In the distance, Phil turned back to look at him, beaming excitedly, and called, "Dan! You have to see this!"

Dan glanced at Afonso's brother again and smiled indulgently, then began walking along the cliff with his hands in his pockets, strolling toward a better world.


	13. The end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to go home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the 2010 Portugal ficlets. Thank you to everyone who left kudos and comments along the way!

In three hours, a taxi would arrive to take them to the airport. Dan was curled up under the hotel sheets like a kitten, with Phil curled around him protectively.

“Let’s just stay,” Dan joked forlornly. “I don’t want to go back.”

Phil smoothed a hand through Dan’s hair. “I could become a fisherman,” he suggested.

Dan chuckled, though it sounded a bit like a sob. “You? Killing animals for a living?”

Phil wrapped his arm around Dan securely and just held him close. “Okay. Maybe not.”

They lay in silence for a long time, smelling the salt of the ocean and feeling the warmth of their bodies so close together. “We have to go back,” Dan whispered, sounding heartbroken.

Phil slid his hand down to clasp Dan’s and said softly, “Yeah.”

“I don’t want to lose this!” Dan cried out suddenly. “What we have here. I don’t want to lose it!”

“We won’t,” Phil assured him gently, raising his hand to gently stroke Dan’s hair again.

“But we will,” Dan mourned. “We’ll get back, and we’ll pick up the video cameras again, and it won’t be just **us** anymore. You won’t just be mine, and I won’t just be yours.”

Phil kissed the back of Dan’s neck, then rolled them so that Dan’s lanky weight sprawled atop him and he could kiss Dan’s lips. He saw tears glistening in Dan’s eyes. “We can hang onto this,” Phil said firmly. “We don’t have to lose it. We can pick up the video cameras again and still keep part of me just yours and part of you just mine.”

“Part of **us** just **ours** ,” Dan insisted quietly, then kissed Phil with soft, warm lips that tasted of salt like the ocean, salt like tears.

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan and ran his hands soothingly up and down the boy’s back. “I promise you,” he said, looking into Dan’s sad eyes. “I promise you that we will keep part of this just for us. Always.”

“You really promise?” Dan asked, with doubt and hope in his voice in equal measure.

“Yeah. And I always keep my promises to you, right?” He leaned up to press a quick kiss to Dan’s lips.

Dan nodded. “We’ll always keep part of this just us. Just like it is right now.”

“Forever,” Phil promised, and kissed the tip of Dan’s nose, bringing a small smile to Dan’s face.

“Okay.” Dan lay his head down to rest on Phil’s chest at the shoulder, his nose pressed to the side of Phil’s neck. “Forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback feeds the author! Without it we starve and waste away and you have no more fic to read! So leave kudos or a comment to let me know if you liked any of these little experimental bits and pieces!
> 
> Also, you can find me on Tumblr (where I sometimes post little stuff like these ficlets) at [adorkablephil](http://adorkablephil.tumblr.com/).


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